darkSpyro

a lot of YouTube videos are being deleted..... or is it just me? weird......

(Not directed at anyone here)

I hate you so much. Why can't you just leave me the hell alone?

So conflicted and confused right now... what do I do?

The dreams aren't helping either.

Quote: parisruelz12

me cheating the "3-5 page" thing with fonts and spacing

this is a big mood

I can't say I've changed, can't say I won't make those same mistakes again. Maybe I will. Only time will tell, for now, I'll let my actions speak for themselves.

Be myself? I don't really know who I am anyway. I'm quite creative and a good actor, but aside from that, I don't know anything.

I feel like I am one of the worst people for having these thoughts. I'm sorry that you have to be close to someone like this.

I seriously can't imagine nor expect a way out. Honestly, I don't see this ending in anything other than that. All I'm doing now is waiting, but for what? Will it be too late?

So confused, so conflicted...

In that short moment, I wanted to kill you. She deserves far better than you. She needs someone who actually supports her, instead of, whatever it is you do. You don't care about her at all do you?

honestly

Kind of tired of not having a say on what happens in this piece of **** room tbh.

Had another dream last night, seem to be getting a lot of them again recently, can't remember the last night I didn't have one. This time, I was asking someone to burn me alive. I can't quite remember there being much fire, but I definitely felt some intense warmth at some point, so I imagine that there was an attempt at least.

Something about how being burned would "lure him out". I remember our plan clearly. Not quite "burned alive", so to speak, but to burn me so hard that I would wish I really was dead. I wanted the warmth to burn me as much as possible. For some reason, intense pain was the only way to "lure him out". So I tried. But in the end, I don't remember seeing whoever "he" was, so maybe I failed.

The pain wasn't very intense and I only felt in minimally. Maybe that was why. Perhaps if I was burned harder, our plan would have worked, and "he" would have appeared. Clearly we needed him to, so that we could finally defeat him.

The girl, Serena, appeared. I've managed to get a closer look at who she is. Not anyone I recognize from this world, I don't know how that is possible. I barely recognize any of the places or people who appear in my dreams anymore. Something about this girl invokes a sense of curiosity, as she is one of the few, if not the only, who consistently appear within my dreams. Like she's always following me.

I'm not sure if it's always the same girl, but given what little I have found out, I am starting to believe so. For one, I can see her clearer now, and there is a sense of familiarity from previous dreams long ago.

...Y'know, maybe I really am insane for believing that this is all connected. I just wish I knew for sure what was going on. And, of course, there are very often disturbing themes within the dreams. Willingly being burned alive is pretty tame compared to some dreams I've had.

i still feel... empty.

WHEN WILL YOU LEARN

I love my friends

----

The thoughts wont stop. They're just getting worse and worse. I should run away now before I panic and start burning bridges

Ech... I should really stop trying to pursue this. It'll only be disappointing

I should probably try finding help about these dreams. Maybe talk to somebody. But then again, what would I say? I don't know much about them myself.

They tend to range from disturbing to downright terrifying, mostly. Says a lot that willingly being burned alive is considered a "normal" dream.

Loser... I'm a ****ing loser

can it be April already

night

Staring at my phone when every app and every tab decides to close randomly.

"Oh. Yeah. Ok. That's fine!"

tear slides down face, rip all my incognito tabs

I need too stop


i hate the fact that im so emotional and make so many mistakes...

Let's just pretend that this isn't going to end badly, huh?

I’m just... gonna relax... it’s not that big of a deal.

Here's hoping for the best...

I am making a lot of mistakes already. Again. I never learn, don't I?

And then there's that. I had good memories before I had to **** it all up, now I'm losing the wonder I once had, now it's just become another "thing". Because I had to drag it along, relate it to my depression, make it lose the wonder it once held.

I must never talk about it again. Keep it my own.

maybe i should

"Cry, and the world cries with you. Laugh, and you laugh alone."

im worried im still seen as my old self

I... I really don't know what to do right now. Well, I think I do, but...

****.

That happened, and today no less. Any sane person would think it a coincidence, but...

I'm a ****ing coward. Cowardly is a perfect word to describe me. Why can't I be brave?

Cowardice is terrible. I do know what must be done, so I must do it and stop being such a ****ing coward.

You gotta take criticism if you want to get there so do it now.

It started out as a kiss, how did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss...

ive been away for so long i forgot i needed actual text at the end

yeah if you could stop talking over the top of me every time i try to voice my opinion that'd be great

I mean, let's be honest

Why should I continue living in a world were I can never succeed.
Why should I live in a world that's on the brink of war
Why should I live in a world were the only thing keeping me alive is a forum, a game, and a movie
Why should I live in a world were nobody cares, were nobody like, were nobody loves.
Why should I live in a world filled with hate?

What reason is there

im talking too much...

I'm not good at last words. But I've written it, and I think it says enough. I won't read it. I don't want to.

HOLY **** THAT HURTS

I should have died 13 years ago.

i have abandonment issues and i cant control them

Quote: ThroneOfMalefor

I don't know how to ask... You are just amazing.

i know you made this post about me ... thanks bro

i wish i could just say it, without any horrible repercussions

Seriously though, what the **** am I doing? There's no reason for any of this. I should leave right now.

I'm waiting for disappointment. For the kick to the teeth. I know it's coming.

Ech... I’m not feeling the best tonight.

I don't have any reasons to live. I have several reasons to die, but none to live. It won't get better.

I'm feeling tired. Can't go to sleep though. That's procrastination, and procrastination is bad.