Wow I'm so naive. When I think I finally can write things without making accidental double meanings or unintentionally complimenting the wrong thing, I go and make this kind of joke and merrily go back to posting without realizing what I just said until the next time I look at it.
I've never realized that you make that. I think that I'm even more naive.
It's amazing you all know how bad my anxiety can get and always encourage me to participate more yet the moment I do you just ignore me and make it clear you dont want me around
its honestly painful
has nothing to do with anyone here
---
Twinkies and 2hus
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 06:08:12 25/11/2015 by Iceclaw
My Social Anxiety is spiralling out of control. I recently moved away from my dad's house and decided to go to College to be more independent and start a new life for myself. While I'm really glad that I decided to stand on my own two feet, I'm still finding it really difficult to handle social situations.
I moved into this house with a middle-aged lady who seems very nice, I have been living here for two months now and I am struggling to make conversation with her. The only time I talk to her is when I say "Hello" when I pass her in the hallway, I feel awkward when I'm around her for some reason. It's gotten to the point where I skip having my tea because it involves me sitting down with her (I'm only allowed to eat food in the living room and not up the stairs in my room). She works for five days a week, during the time she is away I will have my tea in my room without her knowing.
Anxiety really does suck, and I really hate avoiding situations that aren't normally hard to handle for someone who doesn't have the illness.
---
"Don't criticise what you can't understand" - Bob Dylan
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 19:29:19 25/11/2015 by BorisTheParrot
Well,if it helps any, sometimes just being around even if you can't talk will do for a start. I also have some problems socializing but more with people my own age, and the advice from my psychologist is to at least sit close and even just nod along with their topics if they allow you into a conversation, the company is a good way to gain confidence and maybe attempt to get a word in edgewise. Might not work for you, but with anxiety gotta try out lots of stuff.
--- SO I'LL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT
(What I need is never what I want)
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 19:36:33 25/11/2015 by Bifrost
Thanks for the advice. There has been a few times where I have tried to bring up a topic when I feel that I should try something different from just saying "Hello". The whole conversation would normally last for about thirty seconds and I would mumble my words and my mind would go into overdrive and tell me to get out of the situation.
I have now thought about just coming clean and telling her that I'm really shy and I'm struggling with dealing with a Social situation. I'm hoping she will understand, it's really going to take a lot confidence for me to do it.
---
"Don't criticise what you can't understand" - Bob Dylan
This is starting to get so bad I don't even really want to go out in public...
---
You guys are acting like everything is fine but she told me what has been going on and I have my own suspicions and now I almost feel uncomfortable here. Something bad is happening and I almost don't even want to stay here anymore.
And you, you won't be helping any. You seriously need to get a grip and grow the **** up. I expected you to change but you only seem to have gotten worse. Because of you and everything else that's going on, I'm dreading coming back for the holidays.
I just wish things were how they used to be. I don't like change, not like this.
My Social Anxiety is spiralling out of control. I recently moved away from my dad's house and decided to go to College to be more independent and start a new life for myself. While I'm really glad that I decided to stand on my own two feet, I'm still finding it really difficult to handle social situations.
I moved into this house with a middle-aged lady who seems very nice, I have been living here for two months now and I am struggling to make conversation with her. The only time I talk to her is when I say "Hello" when I pass her in the hallway, I feel awkward when I'm around her for some reason. It's gotten to the point where I skip having my tea because it involves me sitting down with her (I'm only allowed to eat food in the living room and not up the stairs in my room). She works for five days a week, during the time she is away I will have my tea in my room without her knowing.
Anxiety really does suck, and I really hate avoiding situations that aren't normally hard to handle for someone who doesn't have the illness.
I've been there. Technically I'm still there, just not as bad as you have it. The trick is to expose yourself to social situations gradually, in a controlled environment where you won't suddenly be confronted with unexpected people to deal with. Since you're in college, maybe join a club.
why is it that I have so much trouble simply talking to you about things that involve me acting even slightly independently
the moment i open my mouth about this stuff i start stuttering and feel like my chest is being constricted ****
ugghhh
---
Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you.
Look how happy they are without me. Listen to how peaceful it is on the other side of the wall. Everyone seems to be in such a good mood. It must be partially because I'm not there. I chose to stay in this room by myself, because of what I woke up hearing this morning. My family doesn't want me around, and they most certainly don't want me here on holidays, I think. Leaving this room would ruin it all, if you ask me. So I'll stay back here. Crying every couple 30 minutes, just taking it all in. That I'm alone. Unloved. Unwanted.
Happy thanksgiving.
Well....
You're not alone, and Your not unloved, nor unwanted. I want You here. Just as much as any of Your other friends on here no doubt. Even if your family seems like they don't.
Lmao Idk why I even bother anymore. I say something and I end up sounding like an idiot. I try to look nice and I still end up looking awful. I try to do something and I fail miserably and once again end up feeling like an idiot. Every time I hope for something the opposite ends up happening. I'm better off just being a blob that stays in bed all day. There really isn't any winning with me. I don't have good days, I just sometimes don't have bad days. I talk to people about it but they just don't get it, sometimes I don't even get it. I don't even know where I'm going with this, I just need to get it out. Then again, I'm always complaining about the same crap anyway, so once again why do I even bother with that. There's no point. Typical. Whatever...
I think I should just speak only when spoken to...
---
I dont want people to waste their time on me or their money, but at the same time I am selfish and want to be showered with gifts... god i hate myself...
---
I just want you to love me.
--- I just realised that I might not know what the hell is going on
It sure is lovely when teachers decide that 'maybe I'll skip the last class and do it during finals week' becomes 'totally gonna do it and not warn a single person'. Thank god I saw that coming and turned in my project a week in advance, but now I'm stuck on the building which is mosquito country for the next 4 hours until next class. Yaaay.
--- SO I'LL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT
(What I need is never what I want)
you know what? **** puberty.
it's been three years since the stretch marks on my inner thigh appeared and they still very clearly look like self-harm scars. ugh
(not to mention when my stretch marks initially started popping up it looked like someone had suddenly tried to cut my hips to ribbons with a carving knife - thankfully those have almost completely faded now thanks to my thighs and stuff filling out but uGH ;;; )
if any of y'all have any tips for helping along the healing process of stretch marks that would be greatly appreciated - i've heard exercising helps? idk
oh and the prevention of stretch marks too
i have stretch marks on parts of my body that any female would be pissed about and i'd rather avoid more if possible
---
Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you.
^ Mm, it's been longer than three years for me as well - was just this one particular cluster of marks I was referring to ;;;;
they're literally awful weeps
---
Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you.
I'm free from uni for this year! Finishing the game art won't be juggled between everything else! I can actually work on my own stuff more than once a week! No more sitting for hours on end under fans and avoiding mosquitoes! For the next two months, but I'm fine with it.
--- SO I'LL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT
(What I need is never what I want)
I have been trying so hard just to let it go but deep down inside I'm still screaming. I'm hurt and I'm scared, I just want peace, is it really that hard to find peace?
You say that I've matured since I've been going to school but maybe I've just had the last bit of fun and happiness sucked out of me. I'm too tired to act like a kid even though I still feel like one a lot of the time.
thinking back on this; no, i'm not happy. a whole year of stress, of anxiety, of loss of sleep and a lot of feelings of self-worthlessness, just a waste of time?
No, ever since I turned 13 (aka when you started to be so annoying) the one in front of my age has meant teen. That meant I wasn't 3, I was thirteen. You never seem to have noticed that 1 in front of the other number meant teen. You have always treated me like I was 3, or four, or five. I'm tired of it. When you just go "Shhhhh" real quietly when I talk, heatedly, it's just really rude. Like I'm some naughty 3 year old who needs to calm down and take a nap, because it's past their nap time. You literally are telling me that I can't have emotions, even if you didn't say it that directly. I have no right to be pissed about anything. My computer going to slow so I'm exasperated, and you just start yelling at me for being mad. I've heard you literally screaming at your computer, and swearing at it, that's how mad you were. But I'm not allowed to be mad about anything? I can't be mad when you delete the new shows I wanted to watch, I'm not allowed to get mad when you fall asleep on the couch, with the remote under you, and I can't watch anything. Not allowed to be in a terrible mood when you woke me up before I was ready to be woken up, because you literally yelled at the top of your lungs during your game of pool. And I'm not allowed to be stressed when I have to do this math either. "Don't sweat this. It's so easy!" Well, maybe it is to you, especially now, but to me, math is hard, and I can't figure it out, so don't tell me what I can and can't find hard. "I'm not just your dad, I'm your friend" Bull. Then act like my friend, and try and understand, instead of telling me what I can and can't feel. "Starting today, you are going to treat me with respect" No, you don't just ask for respect, you have to earn it. If it were that easy, that you can just ask for respect, and it will come to you, I would have asked a long time ago.
-----
No, I don't need a therapist, I'm not crazy, I'm just pissed, I've been bottling it up inside, and I'm not allowed to tell you that. Anger management issues? If you mean getting mad and going in my room to cool down (like you've told me to do ever since I can remember), then yeah, I have some serious anger management issues.
----
No, being mad isn't something that will get me arrested, unless I literally go insane and start beating people up.
----
Yeah, telling me to get out, and stay out, and never play again doesn't hurt my feelings or anything. Heck, what feelings? Clearly I'm not allowed to have them!
Great big wall of text, basically ending in a big **** you.
---
Dead
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 03:05:23 28/11/2015 by mega spyro
You told me to write down what I wanted and I did. Now you're shoving the list in my face and saying you won't take it? And to give it to my dad? Fine. I don't care about that, but just the way you said it kind of hurt... It's like you don't approve of anything I like.
Hey, remember when you actually cared? I do. I remember when I was at my worst, and you brought me up to the best I've ever felt. I felt like we had something. Like I found someone who thought I was worth something for once. But no, you're doing what everyone else does. Once you've had your fun with me, you just completely ignore me and pretend I don't exist. It really hurts. It does.
Gems: 4745
Gems: 8843
Gems: 9966
Gems: 4276
Gems: 1117
Gems: 9988
Gems: 6085
Gems: 5698
Gems: 5348
Gems: 947
Gems: 4401
Gems: 7699
Gems: 2791
Gems: 1136
Gems: 6654
Gems: 6606
Gems: 7127
![[User Posted Image]](http://45.media.tumblr.com/f69b0800239d740655f9bfbef9e74036/tumblr_nuqyepiNgb1qzzk3fo1_400.gif)
Gems: 5142
Gems: 3847
darkspyro
net
7257