I think I have developed a crush on you again.
This is exactly what I don't want! I can't fall for you again when we're all leaving in a couple of weeks! Most likely I'll never see you again, and you know what that's going to do? It's going to crack my heart. And that's because I still like you. I thought I had gotten over you, but obviously not. Ever since you did what you did to me, the feelings have been growing back. After what you did I shouldn't like you back. But it brought back a small spark. Not for you, but for me.
However, you piss me off so much, but I can't help smile whenever you talk in class. And it's either a bad or good day for you. And it usually shows when we text each other. Sometimes you act like you really don't give a shiz, like for example, Wednesday last week, and then two days later you act completely different and seem to want me, example Friday last week. My feelings are so conflicted and I'm so confused about what you want and don't want and how you feel. You've told me how you feel about me, but I still don't understand why you want to do these things with me. I know one reason, which is most likely true, but is that all?
Another problem is brought up with this. I love someone else, and yet I'm taking a liking to you. Heck, I also have a tiny crush on someone else online, but I don't even know about that one anymore because I don't know if it will develop or just die off like my other little crushes. But the problem is, you're always ****ing there. I see you at school every single ****ing day, and that's when my feelings activate and I try to glance at you whenever I can. And then I decide to act like a ****ing idiot and I always regret how I act around you because I usually say something stupid and then hit myself in the head a few minutes after we talk. I did that today. I really need to think about what to say around you, or just stay silent.
I feel like crying about all of this. I just want the confusing feelings to stop. And I need to get over you, because we're never going to get back together and you're going to be gone soon.
But...there is one thing I want. I want one day with you. One day to hang out with you, so I can feel happiness with you. And so I can beat you at Gran Turismo 4.
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 02:54:47 28/10/2014 by Spyro-Gamer
*le me goes to get a salad*
Mom: "Stop eating everything in the house! You're the reason why everything is so messy and horrible in the house!"
Well then. Maybe I'll just starve myself again. Would you like that? Would you like it if I became all depressed and isolated again? Yes, of course you would. Because when I tell you I'm in a lot of pain you just ignore me and get back to reading on your iPad. I mean, seriously. Just last week when I was choking and couldn't breathe, you just sat there and laughed at me as you read, doing nothing to try and help. What kind of a mother does that? Then, you even complain about how I eat. You complain about every little thing I do. And for the past.. 3 days now, I've asked you a simple task "Can you get pages on my laptop for me? I have a paper I need to do for school". You just go back to reading and it never gets done. You know what? I shouldn't have even really expected you to care or help me anyway.
*sigh*
I like a girl in my acting class but I've never asked anyone out before, I said we should do a scene together so me and her are going to be doing that next monday probably if not on wednesday, I've yet to actually talk to her, like, I havent have a full conversation with her and I know I'll probably end up never asking her out, But I've made her laugh a few times which is good, she likes alot of the shows and movies I like. She has the prettiest singing voice in the world omg. I think maybe if we get along and laugh and have fun when doing our scene I'll see if she wants to hang out, become friends with her, and then ask her out, I'm not just going to ask her out cuz it'd be weird and she'd probably say no anyways...Iunno, I really like her tho and I've never actually had a crush on anyone before tbh
---
Lanky Kong saved me despite having no style nor grace.
Another rant today from a very pissed-off S-G.
And in case you're wondering, it's both IRL and online.
It's so easy for you, isn't it? So ****ing easy.
You all have MONEY. That's it right there. You all have ****ing money. Or your parents will give you a hundred dollars or so to go buy a few new games. It's as simple as that.
For me? No. I NEVER get money to buy anything I want. And I have never ever been given any games for my birthday or christmas time in my entire life. And if I have, I've used MY money I was given on my birthday or Christmas to buy it for myself.
You guys don't have to wait. You easily pre-order it or whatever, or ask your parents to buy it for you and everything is nice and dandy. As for myself, I have to wait. Wait until I get money, or wait until it's at a low enough price and hope my parents have decided to be kind enough to buy it for me.
I understand some of you have jobs. SOME OF YOU. But for the rest of you, you can just take money out of nowhere or get it from your parents and buy what you want.
And while you guys are happy playing together, I'm sitting here in the corner, watching, upset. By the time I get this game, you would have all lost interest and I'll have no one to play against.
Life isn't fair. That's what you think about yours. But you know what? It is fair for you. You get what you want. And as for me?
I get ****ing nothing.
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 07:40:29 28/10/2014 by Spyro-Gamer
Everyone thinks there life is truely worse than someone elses, but the thing is our lives are only as hard as we choose to make them. Fate deals us all different cards because we are all different and all find the meaning of difficult and hard worse in our own lives than everyone elses. But sometimes though. Sometimes people are just so ****ing blind and don't see what they have even when it smacks them in the face and it is so frustrating for the people who can see they are just wasting their chance and complaining about life because that's what people do. We complain and nag and want and need, like a bunch of fish just opening and closing our mouths without a single thought that maybe my life isn't as bad as I think it is. I mean it could be worse. You could have Ebola XD ahahah last line joke XD rest is serious **** though.
---
Alt/egirl crossed with a Hippy, some days be gamer life others I just wanna dance with the forest fairies
Follow me on twitch: twitch.tv/R3DV3LV3T
I'd be so easily forgotten. I already am. I don't think anyone would care if I left. I have no reason to stay anymore. I don't know why I still do. My life would be a lot easier if this place wasn't a part of it.
I mean, I guess I only stay because this is basically my only social enviorment. I don't have any friends though. I mean, not really. Friends are people you confide in. I think I've only ever confided in one person on here, and they've been gone almost a year now. I have a few minor friends... We haven't talked in ages. Maybe commented on something once or twice, but never really conversed. We don't talk. I haven't had an actual conversation that wasn't irritating small talk with someone in ages. I miss having conversations with people that aren't just "how are you" "I'm fine, how about you" "I'm great kthxbai". Having stupid conversations like that all the time gets on my nerves. Like how people you never talk wish you a happy birthday. They talk to you, but don't pay attention to what you say, because they said it out of curtesy. They don't care. It's practically mindless.
But really... How are you supposed to call someone a friend if they know literally nothing about you? That's my problem with the internet, and why I find it pointless now.
My "friends" here? They don't care. Nobody does. Not anyone on here, that's for sure.
I don't think they ever really cared. Nobody ever does, not about me. I'm not important. I never have been.
And I never will be.
lol ignore this just senseless rambling that doesn't make any sense yay
I'd be so easily forgotten. I already am. I don't think anyone would care if I left. I have no reason to stay anymore. I don't know why I still do. My life would be a lot easier if this place wasn't a part of it.
I mean, I guess I only stay because this is basically my only social enviorment. I don't have any friends though. I mean, not really. Friends are people you confide in. I think I've only ever confided in one person on here, and they've been gone almost a year now. I have a few minor friends... We haven't talked in ages. Maybe commented on something once or twice, but never really conversed. We don't talk. I haven't had an actual conversation that wasn't irritating small talk with someone in ages. I miss having conversations with people that aren't just "how are you" "I'm fine, how about you" "I'm great kthxbai". Having stupid conversations like that all the time gets on my nerves. Like how people you never talk wish you a happy birthday. They talk to you, but don't pay attention to what you say, because they said it out of curtesy. They don't care. It's practically mindless.
But really... How are you supposed to call someone a friend if they know literally nothing about you? That's my problem with the internet, and why I find it pointless now.
My "friends" here? They don't care. Nobody does. Not anyone on here, that's for sure.
I don't think they ever really cared. Nobody ever does, not about me. I'm not important. I never have been.
And I never will be.
lol ignore this just senseless rambling that doesn't make any sense yay
HDAZ, I haven't been on in a while and we haven't talked much, but I still know you as a part of the community here, and a good one at that. You're always nice to people and the S&N boards wouldn't be the same with you gone.
To be honest, I've been going through a similar situation with this site. I know people, but I don't really know people. All of my friends left a few years ago and I haven't talked to the few new friends I've made in a long while. I don't know why I come back to this site, I'm just attached to it for some reason. Maybe it's the sense of community around this place, maybe it's because I have things I need to do here. However, I'm not connected to anyone on this site anymore, at least, not as I used to. At times, I also feel as if no one cares, and you know what, they might not care if I left today, but I guess I come back here because I care, that's all off topic though.
I'm not trying to guilt-trip you into not going if you want to go, that's your choice to make, but I do want to tell you that you that people do care.
I'd be so easily forgotten. I already am. I don't think anyone would care if I left. I have no reason to stay anymore. I don't know why I still do. My life would be a lot easier if this place wasn't a part of it.
I mean, I guess I only stay because this is basically my only social enviorment. I don't have any friends though. I mean, not really. Friends are people you confide in. I think I've only ever confided in one person on here, and they've been gone almost a year now. I have a few minor friends... We haven't talked in ages. Maybe commented on something once or twice, but never really conversed. We don't talk. I haven't had an actual conversation that wasn't irritating small talk with someone in ages. I miss having conversations with people that aren't just "how are you" "I'm fine, how about you" "I'm great kthxbai". Having stupid conversations like that all the time gets on my nerves. Like how people you never talk wish you a happy birthday. They talk to you, but don't pay attention to what you say, because they said it out of curtesy. They don't care. It's practically mindless.
But really... How are you supposed to call someone a friend if they know literally nothing about you? That's my problem with the internet, and why I find it pointless now.
My "friends" here? They don't care. Nobody does. Not anyone on here, that's for sure.
I don't think they ever really cared. Nobody ever does, not about me. I'm not important. I never have been.
And I never will be.
lol ignore this just senseless rambling that doesn't make any sense yay
HDAZ, I haven't been on in a while and we haven't talked much, but I still know you as a part of the community here, and a good one at that. You're always nice to people and the S&N boards wouldn't be the same with you gone.
To be honest, I've been going through a similar situation with this site. I know people, but I don't really know people. All of my friends left a few years ago and I haven't talked to the few new friends I've made in a long while. I don't know why I come back to this site, I'm just attached to it for some reason. Maybe it's the sense of community around this place, maybe it's because I have things I need to do here. However, I'm not connected to anyone on this site anymore, at least, not as I used to. At times, I also feel as if no one cares, and you know what, they might not care if I left today, but I guess I come back here because I care, that's all off topic though.
I'm not trying to guilt-trip you into not going if you want to go, that's your choice to make, but I do want to tell you that you that people do care.
If I may be allowed to comment on this. I'm sorry that if I seem to be not talking to you HD&Z. I was busy with school work, and I forget to talk to friends on here. I'm more active to talk on skype. Honestly I know how you guys feel at this situation too. I'm sorry.
---
If you cannot handle me at my pumpkin spiciest, you do not deserve me at my pumpkin sweetest
icon from Empoh
I'm playing a game which makes me procrastinate yet the worst ever sentence in the game that puts someone in the slammer for a million years is procrastinating...Oh man, that's so weird.
--- Like fallen snow, I lay on the ground and wait for my turn to fade away, no matter how unique I seem. It's my gift to you... A true sacrifice...
I'd be so easily forgotten. I already am. I don't think anyone would care if I left. I have no reason to stay anymore. I don't know why I still do. My life would be a lot easier if this place wasn't a part of it.
I mean, I guess I only stay because this is basically my only social enviorment. I don't have any friends though. I mean, not really. Friends are people you confide in. I think I've only ever confided in one person on here, and they've been gone almost a year now. I have a few minor friends... We haven't talked in ages. Maybe commented on something once or twice, but never really conversed. We don't talk. I haven't had an actual conversation that wasn't irritating small talk with someone in ages. I miss having conversations with people that aren't just "how are you" "I'm fine, how about you" "I'm great kthxbai". Having stupid conversations like that all the time gets on my nerves. Like how people you never talk wish you a happy birthday. They talk to you, but don't pay attention to what you say, because they said it out of curtesy. They don't care. It's practically mindless.
But really... How are you supposed to call someone a friend if they know literally nothing about you? That's my problem with the internet, and why I find it pointless now.
My "friends" here? They don't care. Nobody does. Not anyone on here, that's for sure.
I don't think they ever really cared. Nobody ever does, not about me. I'm not important. I never have been.
And I never will be.
lol ignore this just senseless rambling that doesn't make any sense yay
I'd be so easily forgotten. I already am. I don't think anyone would care if I left. I have no reason to stay anymore. I don't know why I still do. My life would be a lot easier if this place wasn't a part of it.
I mean, I guess I only stay because this is basically my only social enviorment. I don't have any friends though. I mean, not really. Friends are people you confide in. I think I've only ever confided in one person on here, and they've been gone almost a year now. I have a few minor friends... We haven't talked in ages. Maybe commented on something once or twice, but never really conversed. We don't talk. I haven't had an actual conversation that wasn't irritating small talk with someone in ages. I miss having conversations with people that aren't just "how are you" "I'm fine, how about you" "I'm great kthxbai". Having stupid conversations like that all the time gets on my nerves. Like how people you never talk wish you a happy birthday. They talk to you, but don't pay attention to what you say, because they said it out of curtesy. They don't care. It's practically mindless.
But really... How are you supposed to call someone a friend if they know literally nothing about you? That's my problem with the internet, and why I find it pointless now.
My "friends" here? They don't care. Nobody does. Not anyone on here, that's for sure.
I don't think they ever really cared. Nobody ever does, not about me. I'm not important. I never have been.
And I never will be.
lol ignore this just senseless rambling that doesn't make any sense yay
Bby come back ;w;
I know we're kind of friends on here, or at least I have you on my friends list. Who else will I have to fangirl over AOT with? D: I'm sorry I never message you, if by any chance I was one of the people you were referring to, I dunno, but I'm awkward with new(er) people and don't really like starting conversations with them. You're an important member to this forum, you're super nice and cool and I feel like a lot of people would miss you if you left ;w;
Why is it that, despite being in a decent place and don't harp on it much, I still want this? I've been told that it's because I want to establish a connection with someone I lost, but that sounds so sappy that I don't think I really want to accept it. I've been able to live and let live all this time but when I'm reminded up front about it, I feel uneasy. And it bothers me when other people don't even attempt to understand. My hands are tied and there's nothing I can do yet for some reason I keep feeling like things will change. It doesn't bother me that often but there are days where it can.
look at all that positive reception, and all just being ignored too! man, i sure am confused... and rather envious
----------------------------------
Man, am I sick of being dreadfully unprepared for the math portions of tests like that. Don't you think if it were that important then we should actually be taught how to do the stuff that's on it? Lmao
inb4 "uhhh it's supposed to challenge u" How can I be challenged when I've never seen problems like that in my life, hardly know what they're even asking, and don't even know the first step to finding the solution?? At that point, you just have to leave it blank!
inb4 "how r the teachers supposed to know whats on it?" Because there's plenty of practice tests they could look over and go over briefly...
inb4 "just practice urself" I realize that we are expected to do that in our free time and it's our faults if we don't, but with all the homework dumped on us, how do you expect us to have any time to do anything like that? I tried some, and it's pretty time-consuming. Most of us have sports that take up most of our time, some of us even have jobs... Plus the homework? Plus the fact some of us enjoy at least a little sleep? Where's the free time you expect to filch from us, as opposed to just setting aside some time in each math class for the subject? The people who aren't taking the test could just relax... We usually have some free time at the end of the year, so it shouldn't really hurt anything.
It's easy to hate someone You disagree with. Or just don't get along with.
But You think it'd be easy to keep in mind that everyone has problems in the end.
Whether they're big or small to others, they matter to each their own.
It feels so hard trying to help...trying to love You...when Your parents just bring You down again.
Merrily we fall
Out of line, out of line
Id fall anywhere with you
I'm by your side
Swinging in the rain
Humming melodies
We're not going anywhere until we freeze
I'm not afraid, anymore
I'm not afraid
Forever is a long time
But I wouldn't mind spending it by your side
Carefully we'll place our destiny
You came and you took this heart, and set it free
Every word you write or sing is so warm to me, so warm to me
I'm torn, I'm torn to be right where you are
I'm not afraid, anymore
I'm not afraid
Forever is a long time
But I wouldn't mind spending it by your side
Tell me everyday I get to wake up to that smile
I wouldn't mind it at all
I wouldn't mind it at all
You so know me
Pinch me gently
I can hardly breathe
Forever is a long, long time
But I wouldn't mind spending it by your side
Tell me everyday I get to wake up to that smile
I wouldn't mind it at all
I wouldn't mind it at all
I'm a doll.
I'm a ****ing doll.
And I've been thrown away.
Have I?
Or am I just imagining it?
You talking to me after class means you haven't thrown me away yet, or have you?
-:-
**** it.
I am ****ing sick and tired on this year. Our year is a bunch of *****es and dickheads (except for two friends) who look down on me and my best friend due to us being the 'outcasts'. We had to sit at a table with my ex and his two friends for the Leavers Dinner. They didn't even try to make conversation with us.
We're ****ing done. I doubt we're leaving on good terms. Two more days of school and then we're gone. Out of school. And we won't have to deal with certain 'feeling crushers' and 'stress creators'.
And we also have to get over certain people and move on. There's 40 guys in our year, and 6 billion in the world. We'll find someone better. Someone who won't crush our hearts or use us as a doll, to play with us and then throw us away.
We're done, with people and school and teachers in general.
I can't take it.
I need freedom.
We need freedom.
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 23:27:13 30/10/2014 by Spyro-Gamer
So I'm watching adult swim, and they were talking about how being an adult is great because you have total freedom and you can watch as much tv as you want, whenever you want, and there I was laying in bed eating cookies at 11 pm and I had the sudden realization that I'm free, like it never really hit me until just then o___o
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Halloween is my favorite holiday, but I'm just not feelin' it this year...
So I'm watching adult swim, and they were talking about how being an adult is great because you have total freedom and you can watch as much tv as you want, whenever you want, and there I was laying in bed eating cookies at 11 pm and I had the sudden realization that I'm free, like it never really hit me until just then o___o
---
Halloween is my favorite holiday, but I'm just not feelin' it this year...
-----
You can feel me this year
HEYO
---
Lanky Kong saved me despite having no style nor grace.
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