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darkSpyro - Spyro and Skylanders Forum > Stuff and Nonsense > Waifu Topic but it's depressing and existential
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Waifu Topic but it's depressing and existential
Buchi Ripto Gems: 445
#1 Posted: 17:47:04 22/01/2019 | Topic Creator
I love my waifu, Yuuka Kazami, very much. Or do I? In reality, she is merely another in an increasingly long lost of fictional characters I have obsessed over, more than likely to be ditched for another by next month. This is because my waifu will never change, yet I grow and change each day. Yuuka will always remain the same. So has Saki Nikaido, Mordred, and all others before her. They are all the same. Little more than blank slates for me to love, if only I knew this emotion. I do not. I try to love but the feeling escapes me. I attempt to recreate this feeling through Japanese cartoons, as if their characters can somehow give me enough comfort to endure this pathetic life. Yet they are all the same. Just a pretty face and nothing more, they can never comfort me, never ease my pain.
My life is so utterly pathetic beyond belief, I have failed in every aspect. I expect even my parents must despise me now. How can anyone feel anything beyond acceptance for someone such as I? I am disgusting. They must look upon my vast anime merchandise and regret the day I was conceived. Why even was I conceived? Why could it not have been someone greater than me to take my place, someone who would grow successful? But it was me. This pathetic waste of life who turns to fictional characters for solace, as if Yuuka could ever heal my soul from these scars. Nobody can, much less someone who does not even exist. I am such a pathetic creature. Why in God's forsaken world have I lived for so long? I deserve to die.
Even if my waifu was real she would not love me anyway, even if we somehow met. Who would? Someone such as myself deserves nothing and shall receive nothing. I look like the ungodly lovechild of an orc and a goblin. Yes, I am disgusting. Nobody could ever love me. Much too lowly for someone such as Yuuka. She would much rather kill me where I stand, and that is precisely what I deserve. I must be slaughtered like the animal I am. No, death by Yuuka's hands is too much. My death should be just as pathetic as my life. Gruesome, slowly and painful, not by someone as beautiful as Yuuka. Meanwhile Yuuka would find someone much more deserving of her love whilst I am left to rot in the gutter. I only hope she can find someone deserving for someone as beautiful as she is.
Of course, again, she will not be real. It is not changing much because, also again, she would never love me. Instead I am left in this life, my sadness eternal, as I cry myself to sleep each night knowing nobody loves me and never will. But what is love? I do not know, for my life is without love, my attempts to replicate the emotion all failures. I only know sadness, which is why I must cry. As the last tear falls and I finally collapse from exhaustion, I am greeted by my nightmares again. Nightmares of Yuuka. She constantly tells me how pathetic I am, even in my dreams there is no escape from this fact, she laughs in my face as I continue crying. Yet in my dreams I never collapse from exhaustion, so I am forced to endure until I awake. The pain is often too much to bear. I try leaving the dreams whichever way I can, but no matter what, I cannot die in dreams either. It only acts as a reminder of my only escape from this living Hell I have trapped myself within. It makes my cry some more.
Them I awake. Crying. My life has been an utter disgrace and death is all I deserve, for falling in what I believe to be love with someone who has never and will never exist. Someone who hates me even in my dreams. How pathetic, that I would turn to these kinds, as my life is so disgraceful. Where do I go from here? Where can I go from here? There is no true solace in my world, only an eventual escape into what I hope to be a better one. One where all is beautiful and I am not so evil as here. Maybe then Yuuka will finally love me, but for as long as I am in this world, in this body, my only option is to wail in despair.

I don't know if this makes any sense. I feel as if it represents my life, an absolute ****up in every way.

~0~0~

Please tell me about your waifus too darkSpyro!
Carmelita Fox Prismatic Sparx Gems: 12083
#2 Posted: 18:08:26 22/01/2019
get a job
Buchi Ripto Gems: 445
#3 Posted: 18:17:46 22/01/2019 | Topic Creator
Quote: Carmelita Fox
get a job



I can't, nobody will accept me because I am too pathetic and have failed at absolutely everything, the only option now is to wait for the sweet release of death.
Clank Emerald Sparx Gems: 4229
#4 Posted: 20:21:32 22/01/2019
tl;dr version please
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"*runs around like a headless gnorc*" ~Jaggedstar©
Buchi Ripto Gems: 445
#5 Posted: 20:27:48 22/01/2019 | Topic Creator
Quote: Clank
tl;dr version please



TL;DR I'm a ****ing disgrace to the entire human race.
StormDragon21 Platinum Sparx Gems: 5537
#6 Posted: 22:03:51 22/01/2019
Maybe you should write a book or something. Poetry, maybe.
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"sTORM, my parents just told me something that RUINED MY LIFE. DID YOU KNOW that Smarties have different flavors?!" ~ShadowMewX
Buchi Ripto Gems: 445
#7 Posted: 22:35:17 22/01/2019 | Topic Creator
Quote: StormDragon21
Maybe you should write a book or something. Poetry, maybe.



Since brass, nor stone, nor earth, nor boundless sea
But sad mortality o’er-sways their power,
How with this rage shall beauty hold a plea,
Whose action is no stronger than a flower?
O, how shall summer’s honey breath hold out
Against the wrackful siege of batt’ring days,
When rocks impregnable are not so stout,
Nor gates of steel so strong, but time decays?
O fearful meditation! where, alack,
Shall time’s best jewel from time’s chest lie hid?
Or what strong hand can hold his swift foot back?
Or who his spoil of beauty can forbid?
O, none, unless this miracle have might,
That in black ink my love may still shine bright.

Poetry is for pathetic neckbeards. Like me. Yeah, perhaps you're right.
HIR Diamond Sparx Gems: 9016
#8 Posted: 01:39:28 23/01/2019
...

Uh, are you actually okay? Either I'm missing context or something bad's happening...
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Congrats! You wasted five seconds reading this.
Buchi Ripto Gems: 445
#9 Posted: 14:49:40 23/01/2019 | Topic Creator
Quote: HIR
...

Uh, are you actually okay? Either I'm missing context or something bad's happening...



I woke up and realized my waifu isn't real and it gave me the big sad :(
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