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Retail Stories
somePerson Emerald Sparx Gems: 4335
#1 Posted: 23:24:29 23/08/2018 | Topic Creator
Or should i say retale? post yours here :)
somePerson Emerald Sparx Gems: 4335
#2 Posted: 23:40:34 23/08/2018 | Topic Creator
i work at six flags and the other day this old lady came in and asked me if she could get meatball sauce. (i was located at a pizzeria). the store was an hour away from closing and nobody that day ordered a meatball sub so we stopped making them. i looked to check it because i like to show effort before shutting down a customer and said "sorry we werent selling anymore meatball subs". i of course misheard her to wanting to buy a sub. she then replied with "i dont want the meatballs just the sauce" to which i replied with "do you want marinara sauce?" she said "no, i dont like that its too cold." i still tried to give it to her as she was holding the line but she refused. she then asked "if youre out what are you putting on your pizza?" to which i replied with "its like the costco machine where sauce is poured on the pizza." for some strange reason she believed the sauce from the machine was the equivalent of the meatball sauce and asked if she could get a plate of that. i went to the back room to tell my supervisors her stupid idea and came back reporting that she couldnt and then i handed her marinara sauce which she remarked with "ok i dont want it but.... whats your name" to which i told her it and said sorry multiple times. she then proceeded to write down my name and the cashiers name on a receipt to give to somebody who will probably throw it away.

another annoying thing is when im closing a store and people just casually walk in and wait for me to notice them while im wearing headphones and mopping the floors.
me: sir/mam were closed
them: oh youre closed can i just get ice?
me: were closed

just a quick tip when i say that theres no ice dont reply with "yes i want ice"
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 00:35:57 24/08/2018 by somePerson
Carmelita Fox Diamond Sparx Gems: 8950
#3 Posted: 02:01:25 24/08/2018
yesterday a customer **** on the floor and we had to bleach it just to get the smell out :) :) :)
Rendar Emerald Sparx Gems: 4029
#4 Posted: 02:08:36 24/08/2018
I work at Walmart so I have a LOT of stories, but a few weeks ago someone **** themselves, went in the bathroom, took all their clothes off until they were completely naked, and waited by the door. A maintenance guy walked by and he immediately came out, naked, and said, "Would you clean all this up?" pointing to his soiled clothes and the mess he left in the bathroom.
Spyroboy Diamond Sparx Gems: 8080
#5 Posted: 07:39:06 24/08/2018
I remember back in high school when I worked at Wendy's, this lady ordered a large chili, and then came back up saying the chili didn't taste right, so I apologized to her, but instead of just taking her money back, she started swearing at me, telling me that I'm retarded for the chili, which I didn't even make "tasting like ****", then she threw it at me, told me to go to hell and walked out. The chili was hot, so it hurt. I was 16 at the time, but had that been now, I'd probably have throw in right back at her. I'm glad I don't work in customer service anymore, it's underpaid and people are usually assholes for no reason.
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さだめじゃ
Blackholes_Wolf Diamond Sparx Gems: 8191
#6 Posted: 17:45:23 24/08/2018
I saw Doug Walker at a grocery store in Chicago yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
parisruelz12 Hunter Gems: 6290
#7 Posted: 18:49:35 24/08/2018
we have a lady who comes in an hour before closing every sunday night. god forbid you dont have sugar free peanut clusters. she gets mad to the point where she'll cuss you out. i wonder how she'll react when i tell her that we're getting rid of the chocolates? c:
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looks like ive got some things to do
KrystalLBX Blue Sparx Gems: 733
#8 Posted: 23:19:52 24/08/2018
Domics.topic
Bifrost Platinum Sparx Gems: 5880
#9 Posted: 02:22:31 25/08/2018
Quote: Blackholes_Wolf
I saw Doug Walker at a grocery store in Chicago yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.(...)


Literally what the ****
Did he see the testimonials as a chance to one-up his questionable behavior when people were only suspicious of it before
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The original Peach form treatment.
source
somePerson Emerald Sparx Gems: 4335
#10 Posted: 02:51:26 25/08/2018 | Topic Creator
Quote: Bifrost
Quote: Blackholes_Wolf
I saw Doug Walker at a grocery store in Chicago yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.(...)


Literally what the ****
Did he see the testimonials as a chance to one-up his questionable behavior when people were only suspicious of it before



https://knowyourmeme.com/memes...store-copypasta
Bifrost Platinum Sparx Gems: 5880
#11 Posted: 03:08:42 25/08/2018
God dammit, bamboozled again
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The original Peach form treatment.
source
somePerson Emerald Sparx Gems: 4335
#12 Posted: 14:42:38 26/08/2018 | Topic Creator
so yesterday this lady asked me if the water cup was free and i said yeah. then she asked me if she could get coke in it for free.
KrystalLBX Blue Sparx Gems: 733
#13 Posted: 14:51:36 26/08/2018
knzLXs">

filler
Greeble Gold Sparx Gems: 2938
#14 Posted: 16:46:48 26/08/2018
I had a woman come to my till the other day..

I have a lot of change to give you if that's ok.

Not a problem, we can always make use of it smilie

She hands me £10.20 in 5p coins, i wanted to cry :'(

It took me ages to count it all up because i had a queue of irate customers and kept losing my count.
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^ You all know it's true
somePerson Emerald Sparx Gems: 4335
#15 Posted: 01:49:55 27/08/2018 | Topic Creator
Today at six flags
Me: what would you like
Her: one scoop of ice cream
Me: alright is that a snack
Her: yes
Me: do you have a dining pass?
Her: yes
Me: alright may I see your pass?
Her: I don't have one
Me: *laughs at her face accidentally*

Also
Me: hello mam!
Her: may I have one pretzel
Me: my apologies mam we are out
Her: *rants about the kids park being closed and wasting lots money to this place*
Me: if you want a pretzel you can get one at *blah blah blah*
Her: *continues to rants and leaves*
parisruelz12 Hunter Gems: 6290
#16 Posted: 06:38:27 27/08/2018
some lady: can i get an order to go?
me: im sorry, my till is closed right now, but you can put in an order with the waitress! (as polite as i can)
her: u cant just get me salad to go?! (very rude)

what part of "my till is closed" do u not understand, lady.
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looks like ive got some things to do
Big Green Emerald Sparx Gems: 4175
#17 Posted: 19:15:32 27/08/2018
Did you guys know you can get drunk off vanilla extract? My store had a white trash lookin woman who would take some in the bathroom and chug it and then leave. She stole over $330 of the stuff and the police were called. They couldn't arrest her since they don't arrest unless it's over $1000 but her and her husband were banned from the store.
DragonCamo Emerald Sparx Gems: 4857
#18 Posted: 00:13:44 28/08/2018
There's this really large gentleman who always rides around in one of our motorized carts. He. Smells. BAD. He literally smells like vomit in a dumpster full of maggots and other things you don't need to picture. I've gagged everytime he's been near me, and he almost made a cashier throw up. We've nicknamed him Stinker and back when I was a cashier, i'd wait until he checked out and left before literally retracing his steps and spraying the **** out of fabreeze EVERYWHERE HE WAS.
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Ask me about Archer Emiya
Rendar Emerald Sparx Gems: 4029
#19 Posted: 01:14:35 28/08/2018
Quote: DragonCamo
There's this really large gentleman who always rides around in one of our motorized carts. He. Smells. BAD. He literally smells like vomit in a dumpster full of maggots and other things you don't need to picture. I've gagged everytime he's been near me, and he almost made a cashier throw up. We've nicknamed him Stinker and back when I was a cashier, i'd wait until he checked out and left before literally retracing his steps and spraying the **** out of fabreeze EVERYWHERE HE WAS.


There's a guy like that who comes in to Walmart sometimes except he gets RIGHT IN YOUR FACE. If you back up, he gets close again. It's like he WANTS you to smell him.
Big Green Emerald Sparx Gems: 4175
#20 Posted: 06:17:23 20/09/2018
No longer in retail hell (yay!) but still a fun work story nonetheless. This happened before I started working where I am now.

I work in a company that has locations not only all over the US but all over the world. Apparently one day someone at my location parked badly and sparked an unprofessional email war. Someone who had some sort of high enough position within the company messaged the car owner and said something like "Just because you have a ****ty car doesn't mean you can act like a douchebag." In addition to saying this through his work email, he hit "reply all" instead of replying directly to that person, which sent this message to not only everyone working at my location, but I think everyone that works at the company at all. To put this in perspective, my location alone has over 2,000 people. Then someone replied to him saying "Hey you hit reply all, dumbass" but that person also hit reply all. Another person replied to that person with "You also hit reply all" while also hitting reply all. This started a giant reply all chain that lasted like, a day. Apparently the original guy didn't get fired but he did at least get a stern talking-to if not written up.
Big Green Emerald Sparx Gems: 4175
#21 Posted: 07:27:58 22/09/2018
if anyone is interested in learning about the serial masturbator i have a story
somePerson Emerald Sparx Gems: 4335
#22 Posted: 07:29:21 22/09/2018 | Topic Creator
I'm intrigued
Big Green Emerald Sparx Gems: 4175
#23 Posted: 17:05:48 22/09/2018
Some guy keeps calling my work and has for years apparently and has been dubbed the serial masturbator. Keep in mind he must be doing this a LOT if he's infamous at my location because we have buildings all over the country and it's random which one you may get connected to when you try to call. Anyway, he will call and start screaming obscenities if he gets connected to a male employee. He may start off with something like "YOU STUPID MOTHER****ER" and being cussed out is one of the few times we are allowed to hang up on someone. He will keep calling until he gets connected to a female employee, and then when asked for a name he will give something like "Harry Johnson" and he keeps asking women to repeat what they just said ("Ooooh say that again") and you can hear him breathing heavily and jacking off. We keep blocking his number but he still continues to call under different numbers.

I will give updates on our friend here if I hear more stories about him.
Jaggedstar Emerald Sparx Gems: 4154
#24 Posted: 17:52:34 22/09/2018
i just got home from work. we close at 6pm. at 5:35pm, a guy comes in with at least 50 (no exaggeration) XBox games to sell.It takes me until 5 minutes after close (bear in mind I have piles of labelling and boxes to put out still) to do the entire transaction. Worst thing is, this guy KNOWS FULL WELL when we close because he's done this exact thing before!! I was biting my lip to stop from screaming at him smilie
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saving...do not remove memory card
Greeble Gold Sparx Gems: 2938
#25 Posted: 22:51:46 22/09/2018
Quote: Big Green
Some guy keeps calling my work and has for years apparently and has been dubbed the serial masturbator. Keep in mind he must be doing this a LOT if he's infamous at my location because we have buildings all over the country and it's random which one you may get connected to when you try to call. Anyway, he will call and start screaming obscenities if he gets connected to a male employee. He may start off with something like "YOU STUPID MOTHER****ER" and being cussed out is one of the few times we are allowed to hang up on someone. He will keep calling until he gets connected to a female employee, and then when asked for a name he will give something like "Harry Johnson" and he keeps asking women to repeat what they just said ("Ooooh say that again") and you can hear him breathing heavily and jacking off. We keep blocking his number but he still continues to call under different numbers.

I will give updates on our friend here if I hear more stories about him.


I feel that i need to come clean here..

[User Posted Image]
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^ You all know it's true
parisruelz12 Hunter Gems: 6290
#26 Posted: 06:22:58 23/09/2018
me: hello, sir! is it just you tonight?
guy: what the **** does it look like
Me: ok well, take a seat where ever you like, someone will be right with you!

====

(some toddler is being loud in the dining room)
some other guy: wow loud kid.
me: yeah.
some other guy: is it yours?
me: nope.

do i even look old enough to be a mother of a toddler?? some people still think im 14 wtf
====
crazy to go lady: hey do you guys have tbones
me: i dont think so but let me check the menu....nope, we dont
her: could you check?
me: we dont have them ma'am.
her: ok (orders something else)
(10 min pass and she calls back)
her: btw i want all this other stuff (lists about 3 or four different items that don't normally come with the steak she ordered)
me: ok ma'am have a nice night
(2 or 3 min pass and she calls back again)
her: btw i also need a drink
me: ok ma'am

how hard is it to place an order in a single ****ing call.
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looks like ive got some things to do
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 06:29:28 23/09/2018 by parisruelz12
Thunderdragon14 Platinum Sparx Gems: 5331
#27 Posted: 20:08:59 23/09/2018
i dont work in retail thank god but i work in a senior living facility. im the dining coordinator so i set up the dining room and serve drinks etc. sometimes i help serve the residents because our nursing/kitchen staff is useless. my boss is a complete dumb ass and can't keep up with stocks at all. there were a lot of angry *****y people when we ran out of orange juice. whenever somebody doesn't get fed, somehow it's my fault (it's not my fault) and i get yelled at by the resident. it's an interesting place.


me: *fills all the sugars on the table* (there are different colors of sugars to represent the type it is)
luanne: *walks up to me with the pink sugar packets* HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU PEOPLE THAT WE DONT WANT THESE?????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!

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paul: HEY!!!!!!!!!! GET ME A COFFEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me: okay paul *makes him a coffee and puts 1 creamer in it just how he likes it*
paul: WHAT IS IT???? I WANT COFFEE!!!!!
me: it's coffee paul!
paul: it's too hot
me: *puts a little ice in it*
paul: ice cold
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me: *in the elevator*
dominique: hey brittany, can i come in the elevator with you?
*puts his hand on my back*
dominique: you're a very hard worker, aren't you?

---
fern: *gets exactly what she ordered on the ticket* I DONT WANT THIS!!!!!! I HATE PEAS!! GET ME SOMETHING ELSE!!!!!!!
me: you have to wait until everybody else is served
fern: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO STARVE ME???

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me: *gets leonard a coke*
leonard: *stabs a hole through both ends of the styrofoam cup with a straw and spills coke everywhere*
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Quote: Alydol
go back to whining about your fish
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 20:11:35 23/09/2018 by Thunderdragon14
Carmelita Fox Diamond Sparx Gems: 8950
#28 Posted: 05:01:23 24/09/2018
not my story. our store has chopped onions in condiment packets and apparently one day a customer was so giddy that we had them that he began eating the onions straight out of the packet.
Big Green Emerald Sparx Gems: 4175
#29 Posted: 07:02:22 06/10/2018
A section of one of our buildings constantly smells like burned popcorn since so many people are microwaving popcorn in the biggest break room. It's gotten to the point where someone posted up a microwave popcorn flowchart by the microwaves. I should've taken a picture of it while I was over there today, since my cube is in the other building and it takes forever to walk between them.
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