darkSpyro

Quote: StevemacQ

I bet I was born vaccinated because that would explain why people hate me. That and genuinely liking Final Fantasy XIII.

Yes, that explains it.

breaking news

sesshomaru75 admitted to contaminating all vaccines with the autism and the gay

the mystery has been solved

i've gotten vaccinated every year and how im an autistic pansexual please send help

I knew it was the vaccines making me hate men!!!1

I'll never forget when I had my first vaccine.

There I was, hanging out in the playground with my friends Billy Bob and Long John. We were just messing about like normal rejects of the Kool Kidz gang, talking about what healthy heterosexual Christians talk about.

Long John dared me to walk through Dead Man's Alley on the way home. Dead Man's Alley is a small narrow path between Mr. Kilmore's house and the local nightclub, one that was rumored to be full of dangerous drug dealers, strippers, and more.

I didn't believe the rumors, so naturally I accepted. I could finally prove that I was not a coward!

Word spread fast throughout the day. Nobody had walked through Dead Man's Alley and came out alive before.

Chad, the leader of the Kool Kidz, asked me to join them; Stacy, the hottest girl in school, asked me out! I rejected both, of course - I was for too dignified for them.

The bell rang for hometime. I crawled through the thorny overgrowth behind school, bruising myself all over and scarring the back of my hand. But I knew it would be worth it.

I eventually got to the other side, onto Repro Street. I could see Dead Man's Alley up ahead, between the nightclub and Kilmore's house. I walked over

Equipped with nothing but a bottle of Holy Water, I slowly made me way through the alley, until I was stopped by a voice.

"Hey kid, want a vaccine?" There was a women in a nurse's uniform, standing near a trash can and smiling at me. Gripping my Holy Water tightly - but not too tight, as that would of been a sin - I turned towards her.

"It's good for you," she said, still smiling, as she closed in on me. I remained cautious, for I had been taught that all females were inherently unclean, and contact was dangerous.

But nonetheless, her smile felt warm and reassuring. Surely just one vaccine would do no harm?

I let her slide the syringe into my arm. It felt good, gentle, wholesome... Like all my worries were gone.

Suddenly, a thousand images flashed before my eyes - of fedoras, cartoon frogs, and underage anime girls doing unspeakable things! I knew right away that I had commited the ultimate sin. No repentance could save me now - I had condemned myself to eternal afterlife in Hell!

Despite my regrets, I still felt that same feeling I had before, but I could now recognize it as a greater feeling - that of euphoria.

I eventually drifted away into a deep sleep, dreaming of euphoria and anime girls.

The next day, I was nowhere to be found. The kids at school were talking about me - Chad, Stacy, and the others. All asking what had happened.

A mysterious figure had come through the school gates - clad in a black overcoat and fedora, riding a majestic silver unicorn.

Chad and Stacy stared in awe as my immensely overweight body got off the unicorn and waddled towards them.

"W-who are you?" stuttered Stacy, obviously unable to comprehend my handsomeness.

"...Names do not matter, my fair lady. Now tell me, of whomst is this feeble being before me?" I uttered, looking at Chad.

"He's just... Chad, his name is Chad." Still unable to comprehend the sheer beauty of my seven chins, both of them were cowering before me.

"I simply cannot believe that a lady like you would stoop to his level. Perhaps you deserve somebody more... Nice," I rhapsodized. Within ten seconds, I had decapitated Chad with my superior Japanese katana, folded over approximately 9001 times.

"But alas, that man must not be me, for I have... More important matters to attend to, with women of higher IQ." Stacy stared in bewilderment, once again by my irresistible charms.

As she continued to stare, I remounted my unicorm and rode out of the gates, back to my basement - where my immense collection of anime were ready and waiting.

That was 10 years ago. Here I am, still in my basement. No longer with the same sense of euphoria I had then... Though I always try to rekindle that passion, by searching through my old waifu folders. It just isn't the same.

Vaccines. Not even once.

Now, where was I..? Ah, yes - the Hatsune Miku folder, my first true love. Before I even had the dignity to search for waifus of more obscure anime. Elitism is one of the most important virtues, after all.

AmbushFan, your ****posting is way too good for this place.

Jesus said no.

AmbushFan, did you write that or is it a copypasta? Because if it's not, hope hope it becomes one, it's amazing.

The amount of the disease within them are so low that it cannot hurt you, it's just enough to let your body learn the diseases weak points so it can kill it later if exposed.

SAID NO!

@Crash10:
As is the sheer pinnacle of perfection that I am, but alas, I fear it is my destiny to eternally wander upon these forums of endless woe, searching until the end of time for a waifu that shall rekindle my old passion.

@mega spyro
This is not correct. Of all the truths and doctrines that I have blessed these mortals with, not a single one is stolen from the mouth of a lesser being. My IQ is far too high for me to resort to such measures... No, I say what I mean, with my heart and soul. Truths that shall bring enlightenment upon these forums.

@Mary I
Wise words, my mortal friend. For if I instead followed the path of Christianity, I would not be where I am now... In my basement, wallowing in self-pity as I search through my waifu folders for one that shall ignite the embers of love once more.

(What I post in Random Thoughts is usually serious, BTW. Not sure if anybody does take those posts seriously though, honestly I often just make them up as I go along, so they probably don't appear serious.)

nope.

Quote: AmbushFan

@Crash10:
As is the sheer pinnacle of perfection that I am, but alas, I fear it is my destiny to eternally wander upon these forums of endless woe, searching until the end of time for a waifu that shall rekindle my old passion.

@mega spyro
This is not correct. Of all the truths and doctrines that I have blessed these mortals with, not a single one is stolen from the mouth of a lesser being. My IQ is far too high for me to resort to such measures... No, I say what I mean, with my heart and soul. Truths that shall bring enlightenment upon these forums.

@Mary I
Wise words, my mortal friend. For if I instead followed the path of Christianity, I would not be where I am now... In my basement, wallowing in self-pity as I search through my waifu folders for one that shall ignite the embers of love once more.

(What I post in Random Thoughts is usually serious, BTW. Not sure if anybody does take those posts seriously though, honestly I often just make them up as I go along, so they probably don't appear serious.)

but do you have a high enough IQ to understand Rick & Morty?

Ah... Rick & Morty. The show that single-handedly reveals the true identy of Jack the Ripper, unveils the mystery of the Nazca Lines, shows the true purpose of Stonehenge, and identifies the location of Tupac.

Yes, I do have a high enough IQ to understand these hidden meanings. And perhaps there are many more revelations hidden within - but I would rather use my abnormally high IQ for something more important, like getting off to underage anime girls.

I will instead leave those hidden meanings for the lowbrow children to decipher. I do not believe their IQ is high enough for such enigmas, but I shall entrust my duties to them nonetheless.

May the power of the fedora guide you along on your journey of discovery, little ones. For you shall be needing it dearly throughout.

Quote: Mary I

Jesus said no.

Which verse specifically states that?

I have a collection of Bibles with me. You can't try and fake me out.

Quote: C1nder

i've gotten vaccinated every year and how im an autistic pansexual please send help

The guy that said vaccines cause autism said it was all a joke and he doesn't believe they cause autism


especially since autism starts in the womb during development

Quote: StormDragon21

Quote: Mary I

Jesus said no.

Which verse specifically states that?

I have a collection of Bibles with me. You can't try and fake me out.

Richard 4:20

"Thou shalt not behold upon vaccineth, for it is deed of Lucifer, to taketh thy soul and plungeth into dark."

Me and my immense IQ were told this verse countless times is Sunday School.

Quote: Sesshomaru75

Quote: StormDragon21

Which verse specifically states that?

I have a collection of Bibles with me. You can't try and fake me out.

Quote: Windumup

The guy that said vaccines cause autism said it was all a joke and he doesn't believe they cause autism

especially since autism starts in the womb during development

- - -

The joke is everyone knows the guy meant it as a joke except people who actually believe in it.

So I jokingly told that it was a joke because I am just stating the obvious to be funny


if you are confused on what I just said *thumbs up*

i got vaccinated and then the very next day i caught a cold :( and the cough didn't go away for THREE WEEKS D:

don't get vaccines kids, they do really bad things to you

^The symptoms are short-term problems but when it's over, you're ready for the winter. If you don't get vaccinated, you'll end up really sick. There were times when I didn't get vaccinated and I was bones were just aching. I was that weak. Never again.

I got vaccinated because of outbreak concerns nearby, now I have the urge to put pineapple on pizza. Truly this type of medicine is pure evil.

Quote: StevemacQ

^The symptoms are short-term problems but when it's over, you're ready for the winter. If you don't get vaccinated, you'll end up really sick. There were times when I didn't get vaccinated and I was bones were just aching. I was that weak. Never again.

I was just joking along with everyone else in the topic. The vaccinatations I got were for tetanus shots and things like that. I haven't gotten a flu shot for two years, though, and I have been completely fine. I am sorry for not making this clear? ^^;

Quote: Windumup

Quote: Sesshomaru75

Quote: StormDragon21

Which verse specifically states that?

I have a collection of Bibles with me. You can't try and fake me out.

Quote: Windumup

The guy that said vaccines cause autism said it was all a joke and he doesn't believe they cause autism

especially since autism starts in the womb during development

- - -

The joke is everyone knows the guy meant it as a joke except people who actually believe in it.

So I jokingly told that it was a joke because I am just stating the obvious to be funny


if you are confused on what I just said *thumbs up*

And the joke is I don't have any Bibles.

Quote: StormDragon21

And the joke is I don't have any Bibles.

REPENT IMMEDIATELY OR SATAN WILL MAKE YOU GAY AUTISM

Nope.

Quote: AmbushFan

Quote: StormDragon21

And the joke is I don't have any Bibles.

REPENT IMMEDIATELY OR SATAN WILL MAKE YOU GAY AUTISM

It's not much of a change, I'll be fine.

Quote: Eevee88

Quote: StevemacQ

^The symptoms are short-term problems but when it's over, you're ready for the winter. If you don't get vaccinated, you'll end up really sick. There were times when I didn't get vaccinated and I was bones were just aching. I was that weak. Never again.

I was just joking along with everyone else in the topic. The vaccinatations I got were for tetanus shots and things like that. I haven't gotten a flu shot for two years, though, and I have been completely fine. I am sorry for not making this clear? ;

Then maybe write it like a joke. Just saying it straight faced doesn't make it read like a joke.

Ooooh nnnnnNNNNOOOOOO(!) I got flu-like SYMPTOMS after being vaccinated(!)

Now that's sarcasm.

Quote: StormDragon21

Quote: AmbushFan

Quote: StormDragon21

And the joke is I don't have any Bibles.

REPENT IMMEDIATELY OR SATAN WILL MAKE YOU GAY AUTISM

It's not much of a change, I'll be fine.

AUTISM AN GAY IS CUMIN 2 U NOW U BETER RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Quote: AmbushFan

Quote: StormDragon21

Quote: AmbushFan

REPENT IMMEDIATELY OR SATAN WILL MAKE YOU GAY AUTISM

It's not much of a change, I'll be fine.

AUTISM AN GAY IS CUMIN 2 U NOW U BETER RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

You better be the one running.

If any more gay is added to me, I'll become gay squared. A superhero, in its own right.

Quote: StormDragon21

Quote: AmbushFan

Quote: StormDragon21

It's not much of a change, I'll be fine.

AUTISM AN GAY IS CUMIN 2 U NOW U BETER RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

You better be the one running.

If any more gay is added to me, I'll become gay squared. A superhero, in its own right.

What superpowers does Gay Squared have? Does he/she/xhe just twerk on the bad guys until they start regretting their life decisions?

My god this website is vitriol. Back in my day...

Quote: AmbushFan

Quote: StormDragon21

Quote: AmbushFan

AUTISM AN GAY IS CUMIN 2 U NOW U BETER RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

You better be the one running.

If any more gay is added to me, I'll become gay squared. A superhero, in its own right.

What superpowers does Gay Squared have? Does he/she/xhe just twerk on the bad guys until they start regretting their life decisions?

Rainbow magic. It worked for My Little Pony.

Oh my gosh, I can’t believe there is an entire topic on vaccines and nobody got offended or started arguing. It’s a Christmas miracle.

Quote: ShadowMewX

Oh my gosh, I can’t believe there is an entire topic on vaccines and nobody got offended or started arguing. It’s a Christmas miracle.

make memes not war

Quote: Bifrost

Quote: ShadowMewX

Oh my gosh, I can’t believe there is an entire topic on vaccines and nobody got offended or started arguing. It’s a Christmas miracle.

make memes not war

Or memes about war.

Quote: ShadowMewX

Oh my gosh, I can’t believe there is an entire topic on vaccines and nobody got offended or started arguing. It’s a Christmas miracle.

Shh, don't jinx it!

Quote: Crash10

Quote: Bifrost

Quote: ShadowMewX

Oh my gosh, I can’t believe there is an entire topic on vaccines and nobody got offended or started arguing. It’s a Christmas miracle.

make memes not war

Or memes about war.

Armored tanks of mass destruction,
Killers in the east!
Rats who dare to stand before us,
Feel our guns go live!
DEATH IN THE SHAPE OF A HANDSOME ITALIAN!

-Misheard lyrics from Sabaton's "Panzer Battalion"

Winged Hussars is another good example of war memes. And Shotgun has some hilariously terrible lyrics, though that's one of their few songs that isn't about war.

If that's not enough, you can also listen to Gloryhammer to enlighten yourself on the heroic deeds of the Questlords of Inverness, Astral Dwarfs of Aberdeen, Space Knights of Crail, and more. The Hollywood Hootsman is my spirit animal.

this topic is relevant again. discuss.

Wonder how those parents will feel when their baby ends up with a virus that it could have gotten an injection for, and they die from it. :\
like fairly sure preventing your baby from dying is the right thing to do but ok
And like if it was that traumatic for them fairly sure they would die from shock or something but no, we're all still here and fine. When I think back to a traumatic time it's the times when I got bullied in school not vaccines lol

ah i hate vaccines!! i literally got the virus that i got a vaccine for like two days after i got the injection!!! and no i haven't done my research but i'm sure the vaccine doesn't take like two weeks to work >:(

Kat Von D is my idol

Guys, please don't talk about water around me. I'm rabid.

How is it relevant it's just as nonsensical as before

Especially with the rabies part after finding out that horrible death is a fetish for some people

Vaccines cause autism that's how I got it

but the vaccines are putting the rabies right in the kids!! why do u think so many of these young children act so wild and n.sane???? clearly the vaccines made them rabid. what good are they when they give the disease they're meant to prevent?? and causing autism on top of that

vaccines are the work of the devil plz spare the children :cccc

meme vaccine