darkSpyro

Larry came in a couple days ago. He asked me if I would buy him flowers. I told him "I could"... I guess because it's a neutral answer and he probably expected me to tell him no. He asked me why on Earth I would do that, and I told him because he asked me to. Then he asked me if I was in love. I just told him "sure." I think he just walked off to do his shopping after that.

what have i done....

Larry came in again tonight. He went up to customer service at 9:59 and they close at 10 so the person up there didn't serve him. Then he went shopping and got goldfish crackers, cheerios (I think?) and strawberry ice cream. I paid attention that time. I was sacking since I was on u-scan and had nothing else to do. He started talking about Jennifer Lopez I think and pointed to a magazine, and then he talked about how he's bad at math when the cashier was giving him change. He said he is dumb and proud, and that he went through special ed during school. Then he said that dumb people are actually smart people, and smart people are actually dumb people. This makes him the smartest person in the world according to him. The cashier said Einstein didn't know his own address and carried it around on a piece of paper with him. I don't know if that's true or not but Larry took it as confirming his previous statement. He said Einstein invented the world.

After all that he finally talked about how he is indeed 55 and how everyone is a baby to him and will be even moreso after 20 years. The cashier said I will also be 20 years older in that time, but I told Larry I don't age, because he thought I was 5 years younger than my actual age.

Finally, Larry talked to me about wrestling, or how he says it, "wrastling." I don't know enough about wrestling to follow what he said there but he talked about the Undertaker and how wrestlers go through a lot of injuries. I asked him if he likes John Cena and he said that he heard Cena was going to stop wrestling to become an actor. Then he talked about his desire to be a huge buff wrestler or something.

I think that's about all he talked about.

I love these stories.

Lady: *Orders $100 dollars worth of food on a busy friday night with a card*
Me: I have to get a manager, because of procedure.
Lady: *Huffs* Okay.
Me: *Gets manager and they enter code to the machine*
Lady: Okay *Orders $100 more of food on the same card*
Me: Ma'am I'm gonna need to get the manager again.
Manger: *Is really frustrated because the restaurant got busier in the 10 minutes she was standing there ordering* You know what? You get for free!
Lady: NO ONE HERE ****ING LISTENS *walks away*

she got $100 worth mcdonalds food for ****ING FREE AND SHE'S *****ING THAT WE DON'T LISTEN?

Quote: 84skylanderdude

I love these stories.

glad you do I will brave interactions with Larry to make more interesting posts here <3

Quote: parisruelz12

Lady: *Orders $100 dollars worth of food on a busy friday night with a card*
Me: I have to get a manager, because of procedure.
Lady: *Huffs* Okay.
Me: *Gets manager and they enter code to the machine*
Lady: Okay *Orders $100 more of food on the same card*
Me: Ma'am I'm gonna need to get the manager again.
Manger: *Is really frustrated because the restaurant got busier in the 10 minutes she was standing there ordering* You know what? You get for free!
Lady: NO ONE HERE ****ING LISTENS *walks away*

she got $100 worth mcdonalds food for ****ING FREE AND SHE'S *****ING THAT WE DON'T LISTEN?

I hate it when customers get all huffy because they're impatient and/or in a hurry...I don't see how that's my problem. Just makes me want to screw them over.

Quote: parisruelz12

Lady: *Orders $100 dollars worth of food on a busy friday night with a card*
Me: I have to get a manager, because of procedure.
Lady: *Huffs* Okay.
Me: *Gets manager and they enter code to the machine*
Lady: Okay *Orders $100 more of food on the same card*
Me: Ma'am I'm gonna need to get the manager again.
Manger: *Is really frustrated because the restaurant got busier in the 10 minutes she was standing there ordering* You know what? You get for free!
Lady: NO ONE HERE ****ING LISTENS *walks away*

she got $100 worth mcdonalds food for ****ING FREE AND SHE'S *****ING THAT WE DON'T LISTEN?

who the hell orders $200 worth of food from mcdonalds?

Quote: darkwolf

Quote: parisruelz12

Lady: *Orders $100 dollars worth of food on a busy friday night with a card*
Me: I have to get a manager, because of procedure.
Lady: *Huffs* Okay.
Me: *Gets manager and they enter code to the machine*
Lady: Okay *Orders $100 more of food on the same card*
Me: Ma'am I'm gonna need to get the manager again.
Manger: *Is really frustrated because the restaurant got busier in the 10 minutes she was standing there ordering* You know what? You get for free!
Lady: NO ONE HERE ****ING LISTENS *walks away*

she got $100 worth mcdonalds food for ****ING FREE AND SHE'S *****ING THAT WE DON'T LISTEN?

who the hell orders $200 worth of food from mcdonalds?

I was thinking this too

So I'm a baker, and I regularly bake specialty decorated cakes like wedding cakes, birthday cakes, etc.
I had a lady ask me to make a birthday cake for her son. She said she wanted a blue and green cake (sure no problem) with trucks (okay, gotcha) and... No cake. She said that her son hated cake and frosting, and asked if I would be able to "work around that".
Yeah, sure... Let me make you a cake with... No cake.

I ended up making a giant cookie icecream cake, with a chocolate truck filled with candy ontop. Not exactly a "cake", but I was pretty limited.

Quote: Bumblebunnii

So I'm a baker, and I regularly bake specialty decorated cakes like wedding cakes, birthday cakes, etc.
I had a lady ask me to make a birthday cake for her son. She said she wanted a blue and green cake (sure no problem) with trucks (okay, gotcha) and... No cake. She said that her son hated cake and frosting, and asked if I would be able to "work around that".
Yeah, sure... Let me make you a cake with... No cake.

I ended up making a giant cookie icecream cake, with a chocolate truck filled with candy ontop. Not exactly a "cake", but I was pretty limited.

This story represents the downfall of society.

Quote: darkwolf

Quote: parisruelz12

Lady: *Orders $100 dollars worth of food on a busy friday night with a card*
Me: I have to get a manager, because of procedure.
Lady: *Huffs* Okay.
Me: *Gets manager and they enter code to the machine*
Lady: Okay *Orders $100 more of food on the same card*
Me: Ma'am I'm gonna need to get the manager again.
Manger: *Is really frustrated because the restaurant got busier in the 10 minutes she was standing there ordering* You know what? You get for free!
Lady: NO ONE HERE ****ING LISTENS *walks away*

she got $100 worth mcdonalds food for ****ING FREE AND SHE'S *****ING THAT WE DON'T LISTEN?

who the hell orders $200 worth of food from mcdonalds?

A lady with an annoying kid and annoying kids friends, iirc.

Today was exciting. New Larry story, featuring the creepiest thing he ever said to me thus far (which says a lot). Two customers told me to go to their church for Easter (one even gave me a card.) And also we're doing some Easter thing so one of my friends who is a sacker got to wear an Easter bunny suit.

Anyway, Larry came to my lane talking about how he wants to learn foreign languages and took a liking to French. I told him I took Spanish for a couple years in high school, and this is the amazing conversation that followed:

"Don't say anything in Spanish, it might turn me on."

"..."

"Don't do it."

Thankfully for me, I was saved by a guy who works at customer service who likes talking to Larry because of how weird he is, he came over and changed the topic by asking how Larry has been doing and about his cat. From this conversation I gleaned the information that Larry has one cat named Thomas, or Tom for short.

I haven't seen Larry in a long time but I received some important intel today from another cashier. He said Larry came in earlier today and he peeked at his license. I normally wouldn't post his full name online, but it is relevant to something. And nothing came up when I searched it anyway. Forbidden knowledge lies in the spoiler.



This is funny because as my coworker said, all his names line up with Three Stooges, assuming his last name is pronounced like Moe. He also said he talked about having arthritis in both knees or something.

Third post in a row but I got another Larry story.

Larry sneaked up on me and called me by name while I was covering someone's break on the u-scan. He asked if we have a freezer, and I pointed to our ice freezer near the doors. He told me to pick him up and put him in the freezer, he will fit, and I told him I don't think I could pick him up. Then he told me he was born in January out of nowhere and asked how old my parents were before walking off.

Then I saw him again on the way out and I was listening him talk to a coworker. I'm not sure of his ethnicity but he's a brown guy and Larry was asking him about his parents and stuff. He said he was adopted and Larry said he wishes he was adopted since he doesn't like his parents, and that his mom has "4 arthritis" in her neck.

It'd be amazing if Larry was actually a completely normal guy and just liked trolling you guys.

Quote: 84skylanderdude

It'd be amazing if Larry was actually a completely normal guy and just liked trolling you guys.

I agree

Quote: Big Green

He calls me over to a nearby stand with some bags of sugar. "This sugar looks like cocaine," he informs me. I didn't know his name was Larry at the time so I just gave him the nickname Captain Cocaine.

This makes me laugh every time

Larry came through my lane today. He chose me over someone else so...hooray.

He began by saying he hasn't showered in 51 or so years, and that the cowboys didn't do it either. (He might have said days but I'm pretty sure I heard years)

I asked him if he was doing anything fun this weekend, and he asked me what fun is. I just said something like "uhh watching TV I guess" and he said he likes watching action shows because people in them get killed. He also talked about how Steven Seagal could beat up anyone. He also referred to my sacker as "sonny boy" and another one as a "little boy" which was kinda funny.

Somewhere in there he talked about getting rich and how maybe being rich wouldn't be a good idea because everyone would want your money and then murder you.

Larry makes a good point there.

New Larry story. Not too exciting but still talked to him.

He went through my lane and said "What's up baby girl?" and I told him not too much. He talked about his age again, how he's 55 and his sister is 14 years older than him and there's not many people shopping there that are older than him. Then he asked me my age pointed out how I can legally drink. He said to not mix marijuana and beer and that he's done that before.

I work at a kids summer camp and I have MANY tales to tell

> One kid, I turned my back on him for ONE SECOND, next thing he has his shirt off and swinging it around in the air, wtf
> The one kid who almost gave me a heart attack after peeking through the crack of the door and door frame with a creepy ass smile, following the sentence "Sleep with one eye open tonight!" after I beat him in pokemon ((He's my cousin tho so I just laughed it off after))
> local kids summer camp camper claims to be duck, quacks all day
> Walking downstairs one day, the smallest child there is suddenly armed with a baseball bat, badminton racket, broomball stick and much more. Claimed to be armed and dangerous.
> "WELCOME TO OLD NAVY" ((only people who have watched 'Meet Dave' will understand))
> Armed and Dangerous kid comes to camp one day with a paintball mask on
> "The Farting Corpse"

yeah I have MUCH more than this to say, I'll add more later
I'll elaborate if needed on any point mentioned if needed

@Prex Lol! You have a ton of stories, it seems.

I work in housekeeping at a university, so as a result I don't take customers. I just do what I'm told to do, pretty much. However, I do have work stories. To make things fun, a lot of the ladies play pranks on others. You can probably guess where this is going. I've been pranked twice, and the first time my boss got me. e.e She was like, "Hey, why weren't you here at 6:00?" with the most serious expression. In my mind I went "Oh crap there's something I didn't know about I'm in big trouble" and mentally flipped out, but then everyone else started laughing, so I got it. X'D The second time, I went to grab a vacuum cleaner from an empty room, and then a worker jumped out of the wardrobe and spooked me. They're notorious for doing that.

^ It sounds like you get along well with everyone if you're pranking each other so that's good. Makes it easier to come into work.

Quote: prextail202

I work at a kids summer camp and I have MANY tales to tell

> One kid, I turned my back on him for ONE SECOND, next thing he has his shirt off and swinging it around in the air, wtf
> The one kid who almost gave me a heart attack after peeking through the crack of the door and door frame with a creepy ass smile, following the sentence "Sleep with one eye open tonight!" after I beat him in pokemon ((He's my cousin tho so I just laughed it off after))
> local kids summer camp camper claims to be duck, quacks all day
> Walking downstairs one day, the smallest child there is suddenly armed with a baseball bat, badminton racket, broomball stick and much more. Claimed to be armed and dangerous.
> "WELCOME TO OLD NAVY" ((only people who have watched 'Meet Dave' will understand))
> Armed and Dangerous kid comes to camp one day with a paintball mask on
> "The Farting Corpse"

yeah I have MUCH more than this to say, I'll add more later
I'll elaborate if needed on any point mentioned if needed

I need to know about the farting corpse.

Also sorta on-topic I got a coworker story. He has this big facebook group he added around 250 people to... most of the only posts in it that aren't his are people like "WTF IS THIS **** WHY DID YOU ADD ME TO THIS" and he calls it his gang. It seems like he takes it seriously and believes it to be a legitimate gang based on his comments too but he's the only one who cares and honestly it's the funniest thing

hmm..

this is more of a ****ty manager story, is that okay here?

One day at McDonalds, the women's bathroom was out of toilet paper, so we had a few costumers come and tell us. My manager..Lets just call her GR told me to refill it. I'm like okay simple enough. ..Only there wasn't any toilet paper in the whole damn restaurant. So another manager of mine goes to the store on her break to get some (it was right across the street). While there's no one in line for the register. I go and look for more toilet paper, telling one of my other workers to watch the register for me. I'm really short (4'9") so this shelf was like 3 feet taller than me, and I don't think it was bolted to the ground. I still couldn't find any. Even though there was someone at the register, GR still got pissed off at me. To the point where she yelled at me. I went into the bathroom and cried after my shift was over. I got in trouble for doing what I was told, and following protocol when for when I leave the register.

GR was such a *****. Everything thing was fine at McDonalds until she came along. After she came along, my checks were never consistent. It was supposed to be $180 every week. Some weeks I only got as little as $120. I think she thought I was taking money from the register, so she'd dock my pay. And then never tell me she did. But listen, I'm scared shirtless of breaking rules anywhere, why would I deliberately break the goddamn law? -__- She also started talking **** behind my back, got all but one manager to go against me. It started to get really ****ty at McDonalds. I started to get yelled at for every mistake I made. Weather it was not sweeping up something properly, or not picking up one piece of garbage..

GR is the whole reason why I quit. I know I shouldn't have let her get to me..but it was really starting to take it's toll on my personal life.. Especially with all of the other stuff going on at the time.. I couldn't sleep and I was always afraid of going to work and GR being there. (which she always was)

/yeahMcdonaldsventover

Quote: Big Green

^ It sounds like you get along well with everyone if you're pranking each other so that's good. Makes it easier to come into work.

Quote: prextail202

I work at a kids summer camp and I have MANY tales to tell

> One kid, I turned my back on him for ONE SECOND, next thing he has his shirt off and swinging it around in the air, wtf
> The one kid who almost gave me a heart attack after peeking through the crack of the door and door frame with a creepy ass smile, following the sentence "Sleep with one eye open tonight!" after I beat him in pokemon ((He's my cousin tho so I just laughed it off after))
> local kids summer camp camper claims to be duck, quacks all day
> Walking downstairs one day, the smallest child there is suddenly armed with a baseball bat, badminton racket, broomball stick and much more. Claimed to be armed and dangerous.
> "WELCOME TO OLD NAVY" ((only people who have watched 'Meet Dave' will understand))
> Armed and Dangerous kid comes to camp one day with a paintball mask on
> "The Farting Corpse"

yeah I have MUCH more than this to say, I'll add more later
I'll elaborate if needed on any point mentioned if needed

I need to know about the farting corpse.

Also sorta on-topic I got a coworker story. He has this big facebook group he added around 250 people to... most of the only posts in it that aren't his are people like "WTF IS THIS **** WHY DID YOU ADD ME TO THIS" and he calls it his gang. It seems like he takes it seriously and believes it to be a legitimate gang based on his comments too but he's the only one who cares and honestly it's the funniest thing

Ok so the kids at summer camp were playing around with these toy weapons they made out of those Kinex things, and one kid pretended to die after getting hit by one of the kinex weapons. I was just walking upstairs and then all of a sudden it was just this big loud fart from the kid on the floor. Next cue scene where multiple children are running away and one kid shouts "IT'S THE FARTING CORPSE!!" and then everyone else starts calling him that. That's basically the Farting Corpse story

On father's day this year, I was helping a family bring all their stuff to the beach. When I was done, I told the dad 'Happy Fathers Day' and his wife freaked out at me for assuming her husband's gender >.>

i only started work at burger king a week ago and

>grandma, man and his daughter come in, the table looks like they poured salt all over it.
>group of 4 people come in, they were clearly blind, because my lobby was closed, meaning that chairs and the garbage cans were moved around the inner lobby. its a tell tale sign that you shouldn't go in there. they eat in the closed part of the lobby, and make a mess while they're at it.
>grandma, grandpa and grandchild were going to see mount Rainier, they were going in the completely wrong direction.
>lady comes in, her kids leave a huge mess on the table.
>guy comes in and looks exactly like this guy from the big lebowski



on my second day working though, i had a really nice lady give me a lovely note. c: it made me feel warm inside.


also, i call it my lobby because i clean it every night, and you better not mess it up, because it takes me a hour to clean it from top to bottom, and if you do some in and mess it up, i'm going to bite your goddamn head off. :)

Quote: parisruelz12

i only started work at burger king a week ago and

>grandma, man and his daughter come in, the table looks like they poured salt all over it.
>group of 4 people come in, they were clearly blind, because my lobby was closed, meaning that chairs and the garbage cans were moved around the inner lobby. its a tell tale sign that you shouldn't go in there. they eat in the closed part of the lobby, and make a mess while they're at it.
>grandma, grandpa and grandchild were going to see mount Rainier, they were going in the completely wrong direction.
>lady comes in, her kids leave a huge mess on the table.
>guy comes in and looks exactly like this guy from the big lebowski



on my second day working though, i had a really nice lady give me a lovely note. c: it made me feel warm inside.


also, i call it my lobby because i clean it every night, and you better not mess it up, because it takes me a hour to clean it from top to bottom, and if you do some in and mess it up, i'm going to bite your goddamn head off.

no runnin in me lobby

Why do people have to be so messy?

I have a secondhand customer story from a while back.

A coworker's sister said she started working at a clothing store in the mall. It was her second day when she found a shirt with piss all over it in one of the changing rooms. I guess it didn't fit...

I also have a secondhand customer story.

I was at my till when my friend and fellow coworker came back from her break. Immediately, she told me of this lady that stopped her and asked her if we had Jumbo Tampons and where they would be. After she told her where they were, the lady proceeded to tell her about her "wide-set vagina" and how she needs the jumbo ones. She then also asked if we had birth control, which we do not. This is a grocery store, ma'm

okay


so we had this dude come in and he said he was allergic to salt.

...why are you going to Burger King, if you're allergic to salt???

Quote: 84skylanderdude

Quote: Bumblebunnii

So I'm a baker, and I regularly bake specialty decorated cakes like wedding cakes, birthday cakes, etc.
I had a lady ask me to make a birthday cake for her son. She said she wanted a blue and green cake (sure no problem) with trucks (okay, gotcha) and... No cake. She said that her son hated cake and frosting, and asked if I would be able to "work around that".
Yeah, sure... Let me make you a cake with... No cake.

I ended up making a giant cookie icecream cake, with a chocolate truck filled with candy ontop. Not exactly a "cake", but I was pretty limited.

This story represents the downfall of society.

This tells to start collecting guestbook quotes... and this'll be one of em'... as soon as I find other ones.

*looks at watch waiting for more stories*..... does Larry know he's the laughingstock of Darkspyro?

^please don't double post.


-millennial parents get mad at baby with a feeding tube.. "he took too ****ing long"
-huge family comes in..moves chairs around my lobby, doesn't bother to put them back
-two older ladies got mad at me for charging them for tomatoes, even though they said plain and then to add tomatoes, demanded refund
-group of Asians can't read receipts properly, kept holding up the line to have me read it several times for them

This thread DOES NOT want to die, does it?
I don't have a job, but 3 of my friends have jobs at a reception hall (moving tables and such around), a soccer referee (I didn't even know that he knew soccer), and a mentor for a robotics program at one of the middle schools. You guys are 14, how are you already employed? Were you guys making money at 14?

Need more Larry stories!

okay

ffs

the CHAIRS LINED UP LIKE THAT MEANS THE LOBBY IS C L O S E D

More Larry stories!

Quote: The Bone Chompy

This thread DOES NOT want to die, does it?
I don't have a job, but 3 of my friends have jobs at a reception hall (moving tables and such around), a soccer referee (I didn't even know that he knew soccer), and a mentor for a robotics program at one of the middle schools. You guys are 14, how are you already employed? Were you guys making money at 14?

I had a job at 14

I don't have any more Larry stories atm, a coworker said he wants to change his name to the Undertaker though, and that he wants hookers.

I have some rude customer stories I will post later when I am not lazy.

today one of the regulars asked me how old i was and when i told him i was only 18 he gave me a look of despair

^ i had a dude ask me if i was 15 before

OK so my mom tricked me into going to the store and guess who was shopping? LARRY. I managed to get a creepshot of him but it's not very good. I didn't want him to see me. At least you get to see his tiny ankles.



This is my first attempt at a picture but he moved too fast. I uploaded it because it's kinda like some Silent Hill ****

Quote: Big Green

^ i had a dude ask me if i was 15 before

OK so my mom tricked me into going to the store and guess who was shopping? LARRY. I managed to get a creepshot of him but it's not very good. I didn't want him to see me. At least you get to see his tiny ankles.



This is my first attempt at a picture but he moved too fast. I uploaded it because it's kinda like some Silent Hill ****

Finally, the man, the myth, the legend, in the flesh.

not-so-silent larry

I have reached nirvana now.

Quote: Big Green

^ i had a dude ask me if i was 15 before

OK so my mom tricked me into going to the store and guess who was shopping? LARRY. I managed to get a creepshot of him but it's not very good. I didn't want him to see me. At least you get to see his tiny ankles.



This is my first attempt at a picture but he moved too fast. I uploaded it because it's kinda like some Silent Hill ****

Larry looks like a dude from a video on a list of "15 Scariest Youtube Videos" but honestly I wouldn't be surprised if it was Larry on the video. Then Larry goes on DarkSpyro and sees this topic.