darkSpyro

i see my dad about 2 times a year.
my mother hates him and puts it out on me and makes me feel like a piece of ****.
my dad is almost 60 (this month) and it depresses me because of how little time i got to spend with him, my parents divorced in 2003.

ive been having tons of dreams recently throughout the year where im just at my dads grave, crying. or im having dreams where we get to go fishing and bond, etc.

Problem is, I have a horrible home life here and I don't know how to get out.
I have an amazing group of friends here, and I love my siblings. I love the college I attend and I would feel like **** leaving it...
but my Dad really wants me to come out and live with him. He knows about the struggles I have living at home with my mom, and well, he had to deal with the same issue when he was a kid (but he joined the military instead lol).

he really wants me to attend college out there and have a great life in the east coast. He's an amazing person and I love spending time with him, I just hate that I never get to see him. my high school graduation was a mess because my mom had no idea my dad would be there and made it horrible. :/

tl;dr: home life sucks and i have an oppurtunity to go out and live with my dad in the east coast, leaving everything behind. I love the idea but i cant just do it..

wat do?

Move.

I'd say move. I'd say it's better to live with someone who cares about you, rather than someone who makes you feel bad.

I'd honestly move too.

Your dad has already shown that he cares about you and I believe your mother may be attempting to keep you away from your father.

welp.

maybe it would be better if i just moved and stopped contact with those close to me.

The decision is entirely up to you, but I think it sounds like you want to move.

Of course I want to move....

The problem is that my mother and her entire side of the family (most of which are great people) would hate me and never speak to me again....and neither would my mother. As much as I don't get along with her...

Today wasn't even better. Actually, tonight sucked. A lot. I lost a really close friend because if such a stupid reason and I'm a total idiot for it and blah blah blah....I really just want a new beginning.I really want to start over somewhere else.

Im starting to wonder if maybe I should start talking to my dad about how I feel...he knows I'm upset all about my home life, but I don't think he knows that I'm starting to feel actually depressed from it. And god damn, I ****ing miss my dad so much.

if your mother is that toxic, then you really should leave no matter what, even if it means having to go no contact
you can make it through this bro

If you move than you'll lose an education.

Well...........why is your mother so hateful towards him? Do you remember your father showing any personality traits that could be destructive at times or cause her resentment? Are we certain it's just her being mad about the divorce or is there something else that we (or even you) don't know about?

I don't want for you to move there only for it to turn out that your father is even worse than your mother, and you regret leaving everything behind.

What the hell. Crookshanks. That's not even remotely funny.

@somePerson: unfortunately I have no clue at what college credits would transfer over.

@CAV: My Dad is an awesome person. I always respected him and he never showed any emotion other than joy and care, you knoe? :/

is there any reason you have to make this decision immediately? Couldnt you finish up school and then move with your dad?

Quote: zer0dch

@CAV: My Dad is an awesome person. I always respected him and he never showed any emotion other than joy and care, you knoe? :/

I'd still talk with your mom and ask what the hatred is about. Maybe you'll find something out, or maybe you can convince your mom to forgive him for whatever she's mad at him about.

And I agree with Big Green. Finish your schooling and then move if you so choose. That way you'll have your education and a degree with which can be used to get a job.

Quote: Crookshanks

Quote: zer0dch

What the hell. Crookshanks. That's not even remotely funny.

@CAV: My Dad is an awesome person. I always respected him and he never showed any emotion other than joy and care, you knoe? :/

I never said it was funny?

Also, you never know. It could all be an act.

Why are you such a jerk to me? I tried asking you through PM, but you blocked me after. I'd like to discuss things out, but you make things impossible.

Quote: CAV

Quote: zer0dch

@CAV: My Dad is an awesome person. I always respected him and he never showed any emotion other than joy and care, you knoe? :/

I'd still talk with your mom and ask what the hatred is about. Maybe you'll find something out, or maybe you can convince your mom to forgive him for whatever she's mad at him about.

And I agree with Big Green. Finish your schooling and then move if you so choose. That way you'll have your education and a degree with which can be used to get a job.

I can't reach a conclusion with her. I hardly even know why my parents divorced. It's a huge mess and my mother won't go into the details, and my father told me a while back that he would tell me when I was an adult...well, I'm an adult now. May as well ask? Augh.

I was definitely considering this, but depending on how many college credits transfer over I personally wouldn't mind transferring out and going over to a new state. Things at home just aren't...right.

oh, you said you were at community college, maybe you could finish there and transfer to a different school where your dad lives. a counselor at your school should be able to help you find out what would transfer

Quote: Crookshanks

Quote: zer0dch

What the hell. Crookshanks. That's not even remotely funny.

@CAV: My Dad is an awesome person. I always respected him and he never showed any emotion other than joy and care, you knoe? :/

I never said it was funny?

Also, you never know. It could all be an act.

That's all well and good, but that sort of negativity isn't needed in this conversation. If all you're going to do is to call BS than just ignore the topic. It's not about you anyway. >.>

Quote: HIR

Quote: Crookshanks

Quote: zer0dch

What the hell. Crookshanks. That's not even remotely funny.

@CAV: My Dad is an awesome person. I always respected him and he never showed any emotion other than joy and care, you knoe? :/

I never said it was funny?

Also, you never know. It could all be an act.

That's all well and good, but that sort of negativity isn't needed in this conversation. If all you're going to do is to call BS than just ignore the topic. It's not about you anyway. >.>

Heh, thank you.

welp my Dad turned 61 today. daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnn it. im gonna try and call him today, hope i can.

bump

after a **** night last night and speaking to a friend about it, i think i may just actually move across the states and move in. i may have to take a term off for my credits to officially transfer and get in state eligibility though...

I really hope that things go better for you in the new state, if that is your decision.